|: 001. Video : If You Want to Stay Alive, Just Listen to Your Head :|

[andyougoleft]

[He's done the reading, and he's stayed under the radar as much as he can, which hasn't proven too difficult. He knows how to not look suspicious, knows how to dig in and do his research.

So it's a young man with what looks like a broken nose that's a couple days old, and a somewhat embarrassed, baffled smile that flips on the video and tries uncertainly:]

     Um. Hi. I think there's been some kind of mistake? Can someone tell me how to get back to New Jersey?  I mean, I love what all has been done with the place, very Master and Commander meets Alcatraz, but I draw the line at homicidal Norwegians in the hallways.  I have a low tolerance for blood loss.

Comments

[patheticvillain]

You better get it higher quick. Welcome aboard.

[andyougoleft]

Thanks. I think.

You know, I've been trying that for years, but for some reason physics just keeps sticking on this point.

[patheticvillain]

Physics sounds like an asshole. Ditch it. You're in space prison now.

[andyougoleft]

You know, I've told physics that before, but it still thinks it needs to govern all of reality for some reason.

I'd noticed that part. Which is why I just need some kind of directions back to non-space prison.

[hellofist]

You know... there's an infirmary, here. Could get nose fixed.

[andyougoleft]

I didn't, as a matter of fact, though I'm glad to hear it. It sounds like it will be seeing a lot of use if it hasn't already.

You think I need to? The man who did it said he was a surgeon.

[hellofist]

[Oh, so very little of that sounds good.]

Up to you. Probably best to... get it set, at least. Less breathing problems.

Who was it? Did you get name?

[andyougoleft]

[But Slevin just smiles, his tone oh-so-dry.]

I'm not sure I believe him, of course. I doubt they teach surgeons to use their fists.

Although he did go straight for my wallet.

[pvtparts]

There's a very easy solution to blood loss, you know.

[andyougoleft]

Are you going to tell me not to lose my blood?

[pvtparts]

No, I was thinking of something a little more useful.

Like don't get hit.

[andyougoleft]

An excellent suggestion. What about when you don't get the choice?

[lastrat]

We're between floods. This can't possibly be worse than New Jersey.

[andyougoleft]

Depends on which parts of New Jersey you're from.

Floods? I didn't see any wet floor signs.

[lastrat]

Not that sort of flood.

[He's really great at this offering information thing, isn't he.]

[andyougoleft]

So it's like a full court press on the Labor Day sale then?

[It's okay. Watch Slevin annoy it out of him.]

[text because deathtoll]

[routemistress]

not fair. why do cass and cassel get the one that asks questions while I got stuck with rampaging beastboy.

you should ttly listen to her about yr nose btw. also welcome to the barge, cutie.

[ Video on Slevin's End! ]

[andyougoleft]

[Slevin smiles, smug.]

I could rampage if it would make you feel better, but mostly I reserve that behavior for my girlfriend and salon coupons.

[all right, video]]

[routemistress]

[It's not much of a laugh, it hurts too much, but it's real.]

That's all right, cutie, I 'ad one earlier. Couldn't touch another bite.

video;

[notdreaming]

Unless you can survive in space, I don't think you can get back to New Jersey.

video;

[andyougoleft]

Which begs the question of how we're doing it now.

video;

[notdreaming]

[ She blinks, surprised b the assessment. It just seems so obvious. ]

Clearly there's an atmospheric field around the ship. Presumably it doubles as a barrier or I'm sure we would have more issues with asteroids, or... space-time stuff. There's probably a generator in the engine rooms for it.

[strangehistorian]

Hello there. I'm afraid you can't go back at this time.

[andyougoleft]

Why are you afraid of that?

[strangehistorian]

Well, if you have arrived on the Barge without consciously agreeing to, it is most likely that you are dead.