[Slevin is someone not well known for being genuine; indeed he avoids it as though he's terminally allergic to it, as though a whiff of it, a brush with it, will close up his heart and stop it from beating.
He has his own answer, of course, but his desire to know is in fact genuine. His method of coping has been wrong, apparently, or at least he must entertain the thought if he's ever going to get out of here; he can't lie about feeling sorry about it. He's not. But maybe he can find some other way to deal with it.
Maybe he can find some way not to have to feel a bigger loss if he makes the choice he wants to. And maybe of all the answers, this one actually comes closest to answering what he's really asking.]
Private
He has his own answer, of course, but his desire to know is in fact genuine. His method of coping has been wrong, apparently, or at least he must entertain the thought if he's ever going to get out of here; he can't lie about feeling sorry about it. He's not. But maybe he can find some other way to deal with it.
Maybe he can find some way not to have to feel a bigger loss if he makes the choice he wants to. And maybe of all the answers, this one actually comes closest to answering what he's really asking.]
And did you have to do that on your own?