|: 014. Video : When the Music's Over, But the Song Stays in Your Head :|

[andyougoleft]

     [ Public ]

     So, I've seen how these sorts of questions go over around here.  I know I'm opening myself up to a lot of troll answers, and angry defensiveness, and cagey suspicion, and this is me saying I'm okay with whatever comes my way.  Bring it on.  Because at least one of you is going to give me a straight answer, and I guess...

     [Slevin is sitting in his room talking to the communicator, toying with something in his hands.  It flashes gold just at the edge of the view screen when he hesitates to look down at it, takes a breath, continues anyway:]

     I guess that's what I need.  Just one.  So: what was the worst thing you ever lost?

     And how did you decide to handle it?  


     [ Private : Chris D'Amico ]

     You were right.  I'm an asshole, but I can at least admit when I made a mistake.

Comments

[video]

[routemistress]

[She's at the workbench in her room when she replies, and she's wearing protective goggles to weld something onto a tiny piece of circuitry. The tinted lenses make her eyes cold and distant.]

D'you still think I was bullshitting? Spouting the company line?

[ Video : Private ] Derp that last one was private too

[andyougoleft]

I believe that you believe what you said.

...I don't want it to be true. I don't want that to be the answer.

[ Video : Private ]

[routemistress]

[She pushes the goggles up onto her head, leans back and lights a teal-coloured cigarette while she looks into the communicator.]

I don't either. It's like an infected boil on my soul.

Whatever thing it is I'm not asking you about; chances are you'll 'ave more options.

[ Video : Private ]

[andyougoleft]

Options.

I haven't even gotten as far as options. I'm still at the "do I or don't I" stage.

[It's been such a long time since he's had anything he cared about losing.]

[ Video : Private ]

[routemistress]

It's an easy thing for me to say. Glib, even. But it's still true, so.

I've always ended up regretting things I didn't do a lot more'n the ones I did.

[ Video : Private ]

[andyougoleft]

You know, I keep trying to tell people that, but no one's happy with it.

[Of course, the things most people do don't involve completely shifting their life goal to one single, suicidal plan and then training for almost two decades in pursuit of it; the things most people don't do don't include brutally murdering the men who brutally murdered their parents.

He regrets every single day the Boss and the Rabbi breathe air unchallenged. That's familiar. That's known. This possible regret...]

I don't deal well in chances. I'm more spontaneous than... than my partner would like, but I'm not actually that creative. I just know what I'm capable of, and it's a lot, so I don't have to limit myself much. I don't want... it's not fair. That the only answer anyone can give me is "it will probably be worth it."