|: 014. Video : When the Music's Over, But the Song Stays in Your Head :|

[andyougoleft]

     [ Public ]

     So, I've seen how these sorts of questions go over around here.  I know I'm opening myself up to a lot of troll answers, and angry defensiveness, and cagey suspicion, and this is me saying I'm okay with whatever comes my way.  Bring it on.  Because at least one of you is going to give me a straight answer, and I guess...

     [Slevin is sitting in his room talking to the communicator, toying with something in his hands.  It flashes gold just at the edge of the view screen when he hesitates to look down at it, takes a breath, continues anyway:]

     I guess that's what I need.  Just one.  So: what was the worst thing you ever lost?

     And how did you decide to handle it?  


     [ Private : Chris D'Amico ]

     You were right.  I'm an asshole, but I can at least admit when I made a mistake.

Comments

[Private]

[mistconduct]

You're not an asshole. You just act like one sometimes.

Apology accepted and all that bullshit.

[video]

[routemistress]

Victor.

Bugger. That's not even what I was going to say.

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

My Needle.

I got it back.

[exnihilo]

[She thinks: Darling. And then she thinks no.]

Myself. My past.

I don't know. I'm still learning how much was done to me.

[Private]

[orderfromchaos]

Her name was Deanna. We were soulmates.

I don't mean - wooo, stupid dramatic teenagers, I've met things that eat souls, they're real, and ours were part of each other.

I had a chance to bring her back if I betrayed everyone else. I didn't take it. I just - want to live so she wouldn't be ashamed of me. I guess.

private

[versusnurture]

Does it have to be a physical, tangible thing?

[punched_hitler]

Why are you asking?

[halftheman]

My wife.

[ Because no one was surprised by this response, ever. ]

Private

[bodilesswarrior]

[She doesn't answer right away. She looks at the screen examines his body language, his expression, his tone. She looks at his public responses. She decides, finally, that the question is sincere; that he's not simple looking for things to mock or to use.

So she answers with a gesture, hand sweeping down.]

My legs. Or the way I lost them, anyway.

[She could say it was her first parents, or Jason, or Sarah - and in some ways, it would still be true. But for all she suffered, for all the grief and anger and helplessness, she didn't feel like she was nothing.]

I couldn't undo what had happened. I needed to find another purpose. I needed to find ways to feel like I was more than a victim, or a tool. [To prove a point.]

So I did.

[fireincarnate]

Myself. [Her voice is soft, and her gaze is heavy. It's not exactly what happened - Dark Phoenix was still her - but it's the easiest way to say it.]

I didn't handle it, really - someone else brought me back. [Brought back her love and compassion, smothered her gleeful rage.] And I realised - it could happen again. It could always happen.

So I ended it.

[myresponsibility]

My uncle was murdered by some random low life, so I sort of turned into a vigilante superhero to try and catch him and help out other people.

[n b d]

[imfollowinghim]

[This is sort of a complicated thing to answer, and there's a part of him that doesn't really want to. There's another that almost wants to be honest - that he feels like he lost himself somewhere between shipping out and getting pulled out of the HYDRA factory, even if this new, not exactly improved version is more or less okay too - but that's all stuff he doesn't want to get into, and wouldn't know how to even if he did.

Still, Slevin has been slightly on his radar since Mirrorverse at least - that's what happens when you turn someone's threat around on them - so he does answer, and manages to sound and look more or less wry when he does it.]

Kinda seems really friggin' selfish to say I lost my life, huh?

[video]

[notsoneedy]

I guess that would be my boyfriend. I mean, I don't know if it was meant to be forever or anything, but...at the time he was kind of a big deal. To me. The first boy I ever kissed. The first boy I ever slept with. The first boy I ever loved.

I lost him. He died.

And so the way I handled it was, I killed the monster that killed him.

[darknessb4me]

Half of us died.